Unnecessary Ranma - The Eternally Lost Man

I do not own Ranma 1/2.

...

Ryoga, the eternally lost man, stared at Ranko as she jogged through the park.  The sun set across the buildings of the nearby city, casting the young girl in shadow.  Her outline was the same as Ranma's in female form.  The man smiled, remembering fond fights with Ranko's father sixteen years earlier.  As she left his sight, he returned to his small camp stove that he had set up, and took the pot off the fire.  Pouring the food into a ceramic bowl, Ryoga ate his dinner of bird eggs, from a nearby nest.

The small fire flashed up, scaring Ryoga away from it, nearly spilling his meal.  The fire glowed and grew shaping into the shape of Ranma Saotome.  His hair was wild and long, whipping in some unseen wind, black as night, and shiny, with some other-worldly glow.  His eyes were a cerulean blue, like a clear sky, and his handsome face was the same as it had been all those sixteen years ago.

"Phantom! What are you doing here!" Ryoga shouted at the fire-formed Ranma.

Ranma smiled his cock sure grin at Ryoga, and stepped out of the fire.  Still Ranma seemed to not be in reality, as if he were only poking his image into the world.  Ranma spoke to Ryoga, his voice strange and disjointed from the lips speaking the words, "Ryoga... I have spent over 100 years in hell.  Time spent after committing suicide.  I have paid for my choice of running away."

"How can this be?"  Ryoga stared at the apparition of Ranma.

Ranma considered his words before answering, "After spending over 100 years in hell, fighting every day for my life, I was freed, and allowed to go to heaven.  I'm on my way there now, but, someone hitched a ride with me."

Ryoga stared at Ranma without completely understanding what was happening, "I don't get it Ranma... who hitched a ride?  What is going on?"

Ranma sighed, "Ryoga, I don't have much time.  I have to move on, I don't have a choice.  I came to ask you to protect my family.  I need to make sure that Ranko is protected.  This hitchhiker will need someone with an energy similar to mine to be able to fully manifest in this world.  He will be draining Ranko somehow."

Ryoga nodded dumbly at Ranma, before shaking his head and asking, "Fine.  I'll protect her, but only if you say that I'm better than you!"

Ranma smiled at Ryoga, "You're going to protect her, and I'm still better than you."

Ryoga grabbed a nearby rock and threw it at Ranma.  "I'll show you who's better!"

The rock caused the apparition to vanish into smoke.  The fire was back to normal, and night had already descended around Ryoga.  He lay down next to the fire, his dinner forgotten.

...

A soft black bandanna covered Ranko's eyes as she held her breath in the dojo.  Somewhere her mother was preparing to attack from the shadows.  A creak, a sigh, a breath, a rustle would give her away and allow Ranko to counter attack.  A small padding to her right, and Ranko shot a side kick intending to knock her mother down.

Her kick connected with nothing, and the attack didn't result in a dodge.  She must have been too far, or somewhere else.  Thinking her mother was trying to trick her, Ranko slid into another side kick at the same spot, this time solidly connecting.  Ranko instantly jumped to where the body landed to follow up on the attack.

"No!" Akane shouted.  Causing Ranko to stop her follow through, and spread her arms and legs around the person she had just knocked down.

Propping herself up, Ranko pulled the blindfold off, only to see Saburina there, clutching her chest in pain.  "Oh my god! I'm so sorry Rina!"  Ranko moved out of the way while Akane quickly undid Saburina's top and bra.  Akane moved the clothes out of the way, and applied her hand to the girl's bruising chest.  A warm red glow appeared in Akane's hand, and after a moment, Saburina gave a great gasp as if she had not been able to breathe.

Akane lay the girl down, before saying, "She'll probably need to see Tofu, so stay with her, he'll be home soon, and I'll make sure he stops in here first."

"Sure mom," Ranko answered, sitting next to her friend who was coming back to consciousness.

Saburina lay on the dojo floor staring at the ceiling.  Her long brown hair splayed across the floor.  She turned her head to look at Ranko, "You suck."

"Sorry about that Rina.  I told you before I'm dangerous when I train," Ranko smiled at her friend, "At least you're okay, or you will be once Uncle Ono gets home."

"You're dangerous walking across the street, let alone actually doing anything," Saburina teased.

"Well, at least I got you doing what you do best... laying on your back with your legs spread," Ranko laughed as Saburina tried to smack her but missed.

Saburina brought her legs together, and harrumphed, "Fine then I won't help you study."

"But you promised," Ranko stopped laughing, a hint of concern in her voice.

"Fine, but the price has doubled to two servings of ice cream."

Ranko sat up and nodded at Saburina, "Terms accepted."

Saburina adjusted herself, on her side, to help take some of the pressure off her chest, which still hurt from the kick.  Once comfortable she continued, "On my way over here I saw that homeless guy."

"Did you give him another nosebleed?" Ranko relaxed a bit.

"No, he seemed distracted by something."

Hearing her mother's greeting from the house, Ranko, looked Saburina up and down suggestively, "Looks like Uncle Ono is home."

"You are so scandalous! Well, either way, help me up,"  Saburina said, once again adjusting herself, and covering herself back up.

...

Ranko walked Saburina home, most of the buildings were dark, and if not for the moonlight and stars, the town would be darker than sin.  As they approached the subway Saburina suddenly stopped cold.  Ranko looked at her friend in concern, "What's wrong Rina?"

Saburina pointed to a set of vending machines nearby, her eyes wide, "Over there."

Ranko paused looking around and saw a homeless man where Saburina had pointed, "Eep!"

Jumping away, Saburina stared in shock as the homeless man walked towards them, glaring with horrible red eyes.  His tiger stripped bandanna and dark hair seemed to glow in the dark, and in his mouth, were a pair of horrible fangs.  His eyes glowed a horrible red, and he was barely contained in his clothes, that fit him like a tight glove.

Ranko quickly put herself between the homeless man, and her friend.  She got into a ready stance, and spoke more boldly than she felt, "Stay back.  What do you want?"

The homeless man stared at her, his eyes angry, and said, "I have a message from your father.  You weren't meant to exist.  I'm here to kill you."

Ranko looked away for a moment to Saburina, "Get out of the way, I'll take care of tall, dark and ugly."

Saburina apologized before running away shrieking as the homeless man attacked.  The leg cut through the air faster than the eye could see, but Ranko quickly ducked under the attack, and struck a quick punch on the homeless man's groin.

Sharp pain shot up his body, and his face contorted in a comical expression of horrible pain.  He backed away from Ranko.  He suddenly charged, and grabbed her by the throat.  He picked her up with one powerful hand and slammed her into the vending machines.  Over and over, he pulled her away from the machines and slammed her in again.

Ranko gasped, and tried to breath.  Finding no air, she grabbed the man's hand and using her feet on him as leverage, twisted his hand away and slammed a kick in his face as she back flipped onto the vending machines.

The man gave a horrible growl, and dug his fingers into the concrete floor of the subway.  He took out a large chunk of stone, tearing it out of the floor, and with a mighty grunt, threw it at Ranko.

Dodging on instinct, Ranko side flipped to the ground.  She quickly bounced forward with a  mighty leap, and punched the man hard enough to send him flying onto the subway tracks.

From the side, Saburina shouted, "Three minutes until the train arrives!"

Ranko looked from her friend back to where the man was, but could not find him anywhere, "Where did he go?"

Saburina shook her head, "I don't know, he was just there, and then he disappeared."

"Well I can easily take him, so I think I'll walk you all the way home, to make sure you get there safe," Ranko looked at the carnage around her and sighed.

...

Ryoga stared at the two girls on the subway.  He hid behind a newspaper someone had left on the chair.  The girls didn't seem to notice him, and even on the way to the brown haired girl's house, they were unable to detect his presence.  Ranko stayed inside the house for over half an hour, and Ryoga almost left, but soon she exited the house, and took to the roof tops to run back home.  Ryoga followed her silently, nothing more than a shadow in the star filled sky.

...

Ranko led the homeless man that was following her back towards her home.  She had spent time at Saburina's house to call home, and now, she was leading the strong bastard into a trap. Nerima soon appeared, and within moments Ranko jumped over the wall of her backyard.

Within two flaps of a humming bird's wings, the homeless man landed behind Ranko and tried to grab her.  Ranko twisted down and out of his grasp, then sprang up in a mighty uppercut that caused the homeless man to land in the koi pond.

Hearing the splash, Akane and Tofu ran out, ready to fight the man who was trying to kill Ranko.  Akane rushed next to Ranko, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I got a pretty solid hit in on him," Ranko nodded towards the pond.

Suddenly the homeless man charged out of the pond, a series of attacks put Akane and Ranko on the defensive.  Blocking a series of strikes, Akane countered with an arm lock, holding the man in place long enough for Ranko to get several solid power kicks into the man's sternum.

Gasping the man threw Akane off, sending her flying into a wall.  He quickly blocked Ranko's next kick.  He then started attacking Ranko again.  Tofu tried striking a pressure point but it had no effect.  Tofu backed away, and went to help Akane to her feet.

"He's not a living person," Tofu said nodding to the man, "I tried to paralyze him, but stopping blood flow had no effect.  Which means, no blood."

Akane nodded, "If he's not living, then there's no problem with killing him."  Akane ran back into the fight, "Hey!  You want to get to her, you'll have to deal with me first!"

The man turned away from Ranko, who was up against the outer wall, her shoulder dislocated.  He dropped her like a rag doll and turned to face Akane.  Seeing her daughter unconscious, Akane channeled her fury into her hands, causing them to glow a vibrant red, sparks jumped between her fingers.  Releasing a long held breath, Akane attacked. 

Several punches connected with the man, the excess energy oozing from Akane searing his flesh.  The man grimaced through the pain of one attack, and suddenly had his hand on Akane's throat, squeezing the life out of her.  She tried to break his grip, but he kept at it.  She grabbed the man's throat, squeezing as hard as she could.  Just before she was going to lose consciousness the man gasped, and turned to ashen dust.

Looking around, Akane saw Tofu helping Ranko into the house.  Satisfied that her daughter was safe, Akane looked to where the man had been standing, "Was that you Ryoga?  What happened to you?"

...

Unnecessary Ranma - 15 Years Later

I do not own Ranma 1/2.

...  

Harsh sunlight burst into the room, like some perverted invader, casting its hot glow upon the exposed flesh of Ranko.  She peeked one eye open to glare back at the intruding light, and sighed in annoyance.  Straightening out her pajamas, she got out of bed and headed across the hall to her mother's room.

    Knocking on the door, Ranko shouted in, "Hey Mom!  Wake up!  I want to get some training in before I go to school!"  Ranko tensed suddenly, feeling the warm breath on the back of her neck, too late, she realized that her mother had her in a hold that she could never dream of escaping.  A small nip in the back of her neck, was enough to illicit and deep moan from Ranko, and as soon as her mother released the hold, Ranko turned around, and pouted cutely at her mother.  "Not fair, how was I supposed to know you were up already!"

    Akane looked straight on at her fifteen year old daughter, and clucked, "You really should be paying more attention to sounds, and breathing.  We'll have to do some blind folded matches after school.  For now, head down to the dojo, and warm up, I'll be there in a moment."

    Ranko nodded and gave her Mom a kiss on the cheek before heading downstairs.  She stopped by her father's shrine and said a quick prayer. Ranko then ran to the dojo, and stripped of her pajamas.  She grabbed some spare underwear she kept with her gi, and was dressed and stretching by the time her mother came in.

    After warming up they both bowed to each other and began lightly sparring.  Ranko wove around her mother's attacks, imitating videos she had seen of her father's techniques.  Unfortunately for Ranko, she was not quite as fast as her father, and within moments of trying to mimic him, she found herself pinned to the ground by her mother's foot.

    The calloused sole rested on Ranko's breast, the toes wiggling over the teenager's erect nipples, slowly driving her into a fit of laughter.  "Stop!" Ranko gasped between breathes, trying to wiggle her way out from her mother's strong pressure.  The movement caused Ranko's gi to open, and Akane moved her foot out of the way, and helped Ranko to her feet.

"You're not as fast as him.  Until you are, I suggest you stick with what I've taught you," Akane beamed at her daughter, proud that she was willing to try new things, despite Akane repeating her advice at least once a week.

Ranko, straightened her clothes out, and was about to retort, when a voice from the house shouted, "Time for breakfast you two!"

    "We'll be right there," Akane shouted back, and together with Ranko, walked back into the house.

    Inside they were greeted by Kasumi and Tofu, Akane's sister, and brother-in-law.  They sat down quietly for breakfast, with Kasumi serving Miso Soup, and scrambled eggs over rice.

    Kasumi smiled at the sweaty pair, and asked, "So how's school coming along Ranko dear?"

    Ranko swallowed her food before answering back, "Fine, though Principal Kuno keeps trying to molest me."

    "That pervert was always after me and your father," Akane grimaced, remembering Tatewaki's insidious behavior sixteen years previous at Furinken High School.

    "So its a family tradition to be perved on by older men?" Ranko asked.

    Tofu began coughing, choking on some rice, after Ranko's inquiry.  Kasumi helped her husband recover, patting his back.  "It's not always perverted you know," Tofu replied after he recovered.

    "Oh I didn't mean, you, Uncle Ono," Ranko grinned, filing away the reaction for future use.

...

    At school, Ranko stared out the window outside, even after her friend joined her for lunch.

    "Ranko!"

    Ranko stared back at her friend, Saburina, her expression clueless.

    "Damn you Ranko, always ignoring me," Saburina pinched Ranko's cheeks, while getting face to face with her.  "Here I've been pouring my heart out to you about what happened with me and Rite, and you ignore all the juicy details you were supposed to be gasping at!"

    "Ow ow ow!" Ranko chanted, missing her friend's entire rant, while twisting the horrible powerful fingers away from her cheeks.  "Enough, Rina! I'm sorry!  So what were you saying already!"

    Partially mollified, Saburina sat back down with her lunch box, and continued her story, in a half whisper, now that the rest of the class was staring at them, "Well, so there I was on my bed, and he was talking about Kira and all that stuff on the news, and anyways, I spread my legs just wide enough for him to see up my short skirt."

    Ranko gasped, appropriately, a scandalous smile on her face capable of splitting a watermelon in half.  "Did his nosebleed like that homeless guy in the park does when we flirt with him?"

    Saburina smiled wickedly, leaned into Ranko's ear, and whispered, "I got him to lick me!"

    Ranko eyes widened at the perverse revelation her friend had spoken into her ears.  Both of them locked eyes with one another, before bursting into a fit of giggles.  Ranko recovered first, and half whispered, "Saburina, you are such a perverted girl.  I don't know how bored I'd be without you."

...

    After school was a quiet time for Ranko.  She'd rush straight home, after walking her friend to the Advanced Study Program.  At home, Ranko would meditate in the corner of the dojo, while her mother finished teaching the afternoon, Anti-Pervert Self Defense course, to a set of young, twenty something mothers, who, usually, took the course after one rapist too many molested them in the subway.

    Slowly the kiai of the students faded.  The world became sharp, and overlaid.  The beating of a butterfly's wing echoed across the backyard.  The koi jumping out of the small pond slowed to a crawl, as Ranko counted its scales.  Breathing in and out, Ranko quieted the beating wings, and the soft splashing of the pool.

    The quietness surrounded and embraced Ranko in its soft hold.  Her heartbeat slowed, until she could hear the soft quiet speech of her father.  He stood before her in a vast field of white.  His voice was like melody.  He embraced her, his hands massaging her breasts, and moving down to her sex.  He kissed her lips, and sucked on her neck with passion and tenderness.  Back and forth her rubbed her clit, faster and faster, until with a single whisper in her ear, he said the words, "Kachu-tenshin-amaguriken.  Remember these words daughter.  They will grant you speed."

    The loudness of silence shook Ranko out of her trance.  The class was over, and her mother sat on the other end of the dojo, quietly meditating.  Ranko calmed her self, and left the dojo to wash her cream covered hand.

    The house was empty, with Kasumi and Tofu working together at Tofu's clinic.  Ranko made her way to the kitchen sink, and turned on the cold water.  She stared at the running water, pouring from the tap, and wondered, "Could I keep my hand from getting wet?"  She focused on the water, her right hand twitching in anticipation.  Her father's words came to her, and she spoke them as her hand flashed through the water, only to come back wet and cold.

    "You need to build up to that level of speed," Akane stood at the doorway to the kitchen with a glowing smile on her face.  "Where did you hear about that anyways?  I didn't think we had any recordings of him using that technique."

    Ranko blushed, remembering what happened in her meditation.  Deciding to give an edited answer, she said, "I had dream about it."

    "I'll show you how you can train for it," Akane smiled waving her hand for her daughter to follow her.

    Ranko quickly washed her hands, and followed her mother out to the back yard.

...

Unnecessary Ranma

I do not own Ranma 1/2.

***

The last words to leave her lips were, "I hate you."

These words were spoken without any real emotion that Ranma could tell, but for some reason, they hurt more than anything she had yelled at him before.  The place where she spoke those words still haunted him with visions of her, though she has not returned in over a month now.  The house felt heavy, like lichen wearing down the branches of a graveyard tree.  The dreary clouds have hung in the air since then, and not a day has passed where rain has not visited the city.

Ranma swallowed hard, and closed his eyes, trying desperately to get rid of the image of her face.  The expressionless eyes and mouth, that spoke those evil words to him.  He tried to remember her laugh, her smile, even her flirting would be enough to distract him, but each time the only face that came up, was that dark, sinister, indifferent face.  She had left him with nothing but agony to remember.

Ranma decided that no progress would be made for the day, and flopped back onto his futon, ignoring the empty vacuum by the door where she had once stood.  He closed his eyes, and tried to drown out the hum of the somber litany that echoed from the shadows, "I hate you."

A hand touched Ranma's shoulder.  Some phantom he had not heard approach.  Perhaps just his imagination.  The hand shook his body, attempting to wake him up.  Ranma opened his eyes slowly, the dark shadows around him indicated that it was night, and the sun was setting on the other side of the house.  Still he could not make out the form of the phantom.

"Ranma, wake up, time to eat," the phantom's voice was lilting, and soft.  The warm waves of the voice brushed over Ranma's cool skin.
"Thanks Kasumi," Ranma croaked, his voice thick, and his throat sore.
"Ranma...have you been crying again?"  Kasumi's voice was tinted with worry, and carried a strong hint of motherly care.

Ranma cleared his throat and sat up.  "No. Real men don't cry," Ranma spoke without emotion or care, saying the words more out of habit than anything else.

Kasumi saw the pain etched across his face and hugged him, bringing him tight against her chest. Ranma's head nuzzled down to her neck, and he sucked on her nape.  His arms went around her, and he slid them back and up under her blouse.  He began to rub his palm gently on the outside of her bra.

Kasumi leaned Ranma back onto the futon, and soon he was on top of her, pants down, with her panties shoved to the side.  He was penetrating her with a boundless hungry lust.  Small gasps escaped Kasumi, as she bit down on a finger so that she would not cry out.  Ranma rocked into her, his legs propelling him deep into her sex.  He fucked her until he collapsed on top of her, crying onto her shoulders.

Kasumi wrapped her legs around him, so he would not run away again, and whispered in his ear, "It's okay Ranma, I still love you."

***

The storm continued unabated over Nerima.  The heavy rain kept all but the most determined inside.  Ranma walked along, her head down, bearing the weight of the rain.  The heavy consequences of his actions still played through his mind as he walked through the streets in his female form, secretly hoping the water would wash away his guilt and his shame.  Two months, and still Akane was gone.

Ranma stopped then she ran into someone else walking in the loathsome rain.  She didn't look up, but stood there, waiting for the man to step aside.  She didn't even fight him off when he pushed her up against the wall.  She didn't even cry when he raped her.  She didn't look at him, she didn't care.  When he was done, he took her with him.

***

The room was dark.  Ranma lay sweating on a soft spring futon.  The fever continued to terrorize her mind, and soft hands applied a cold cloth to her head.  "Its okay," a soft, sweet voice penetrated the darkness.

Ranma closed her eyes, and fell into shadows once more.

***

Ranma opened his eyes.  He was alone in his room.  A warm, wet spot was under him on the futon, and his shorts were soaked.  He got up quickly and changed, hoping no one would catch his embarrassment.  Akane walked in as he pulled his shorts on.  She ignored his brief nudity, and with a shy smile said, "C'mon silly, lunch is ready, nap time is over."

Ranma smiled and kissed her.  Their lips entwined in passionate dance.  Their bodies soon followed suit and he lay her on the futon.  Her face crunched up in disgust, "Ranma, eww, you wet the futon again!"

Ranma's face was stricken with panic, and he stammered his excuse as best he could, which was none at all.  Akane got up and smacked him on the side of the head.  "Get this cleaned up baka, I'll be downstairs with your lunch when you're ready to grow up,"  Akane gave him a dirty look and headed down to wash off her disgust.

***

Ranma woke up from the shadows of illness to find herself in her room.  Kasumi lay next to her exhausted from trying to keep Ranma's fever down.  Ranma sat up and cried.  She new the rape had been real, but she still couldn't remember who it was.

Why didn't Akane believe her?  Why was it Ranma's fault that he was raped.  He had lost his power, he had lost everything.  Was it so wrong to have given up hope for that small period.  Was it her fault that she was raped?

The tears wouldn't stop, and Ranma didn't want them to.  She should just cry and die.  It was her fault Akane left.  It was her fault she got raped.  She didn't deserve to live.  She didn't deserve Kasumi's sweet love.  She didn't deserve to be heir to the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts.

The world would be better off, without Ranma Saotome.

***

Two months later, Akane returned.  She knelt in front of the family shrine, and prayed to her mother, and lit incense in her prayer.  She then prayed in front of Ranma's shrine.  She prayed for his forgiveness, but she knew she did not deserve it.  Still, the baby in her womb was his, and she could not afford to let that baby die.

"Despite all the pain I brought you, and myself, I will live for our child Ranma."

How Ryoga Met Your Mother - Chapter 3

I do not own Ranma 1/2 or How I Met Your Mother.
***

    Ryoga waits for his kids outside of Fujinomiya High School.  His graying hair resists the howl of wind in the cold winter air.  Ryoga decides to lean against the wall, facing away from the school.  The bell rings, and a few minutes later his kids walk past him, arguing, and do not notice their father following them.
  
Instinctively, Ryoga's son dodges the attack from his sister.  He leans almost ninety degrees backwards as her backpack arcs through the air, the force creating a vacuum blade that cuts a tree on the other side of the street in half.  He stands back up and sticks his tongue out at her, "Your swing is as wide as your mouth, 'Que boca'!"

    Kibouka slams her fist into her brother's face, the impact sending him across the street, skipping once half way there, before slamming into a thick concrete wall.  Quickly taking out a talisman from her subspace pocket, she chants a spell, and sends a column of flame to descend on her brother.  Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she turns, sees her father, and quickly cancels the spell before her brother gets burned.

    Embarrassment flushes her face, her mind quickly trying to justify a reason to incinerate her brother.  She weakly smiles at her father, and says, "My name isn't pronounced 'que boca', it's pronounced 'ki-bo-ka', you'd think he'd get that after all these years, huh daddy?"

    Ryoga sighs at his daughter trying to look cute behind her thick eyelashes.  Soon his son joins them, and Ryoga looks sternly at him and chastises him, "How many times have I told you not to tease your sister, we named you, Hogoshaku, because we thought you'd be able to protect her, instead you're her biggest threat."

    Hogoshaku sighs and apologizes to his sister.  With a big smile she "gratefully" accepts.  Ryoga leads them to a nearby KFC, and they decide to eat there.  Excitedly, and innocently they order their food, never realizing its all an elaborate trap set by their father.

It isn't until their mouths are full and he starts telling his story, that they realize the mistake they made.  They are trapped, and now they are going to spend the next two hours listening to the tale, of how their father eventually meets their mother.  With luck, this would be the last one.  Ryoga smiles and begins, "When I first started developing Anything Goes Architecture Martial Arts, I had some unique training exercises.  Things that would never be used when teaching the style today."

    Ryoga shifts in his seat, getting more comfortable, "I had a coffee maker called Old Sparky.  Whenever I used it, I'd be shocked, and it would allow me to study the flow of currents in the apartment complex.  I was working on how to map out the pathways to help with my sense of direction.  Sometimes I'd run the water from the faucet, while trying to stare into it.  Other times, I'd go to construction sites, and lift beams, and crush boulders.  I remember, it was near the beginning of December, and I was practicing with Old Sparky, when Aunt Lily came home with Aunt Akane, and told us that her apartment was gone."

    "Wait," Kibouka interrupts her father, "didn't Aunt Lily live with you and Uncle Marshal?"

    "Actually, before that, no, she had her own place, she just never really went there," Ryoga answers, "She had gone by to pick up some winter clothes."

***

    "Good Morning," Ryoga greeted Marshal, as he walked over to the kitchen.  Marshal gave a reply, as he sat on the couch, his ninja quickly dispatching some demons on screen.  Ryoga did some quick warm up exercises before going in, he took Old Sparky, an ancient electric coffee maker, from the shelf.  Developed in the Mountains of Tibet, by the lunatic inventor, Taban, Old Sparky was made completely of steel, and conducted the electricity from any plug you put it into through the unit, and into the owner.

    Ryoga gave Marshal a warning that he was about to plug in Old Sparky.  Quickly saving his game, Marshal waited, while Ryoga proceeded to pump 120 volts for the entire brew of the coffee.  "Getting any further with that training there Ryoga?" Marshal asked, as Ryoga quickly recovered from his electrocution.

    His heart accelerated, as darkness surrounded Ryoga.  Currents of electricity sprang to life.  Ryoga turned to Marshal, seeing his body's electric field.  Ryoga saw from behind, that two people were coming up the stairs.  Ryoga smiled at Marshal, and calmly said, "We have visitors."

    As the last syllable left Ryoga's lips, the front door opened, and Marshal jumped, astonishment written all over his face.  Lily and Akane walked in through the door, as Marshal stared at his arm, "Dude, goosebumps."

    Ryoga blinked, and staggered, as his vision returned to normal.  Rubbing his eyes, he poured some coffee as he greeted the two girls who had just come in.  He could tell Lily was upset, as she flopped on the couch.  Curious, despite the discovery of a new technique, he asked her what was wrong.

    Lily finally reacted to Ryoga's probing, and after noticing Marshal's concern, she began to gather her thoughts.  She tried to answer but couldn't quite begin explaining the events that happened earlier that morning.  Finally, Akane volunteered the answer.

    "She lost her apartment," Akane sat next to Ryoga on the love seat, and took his coffee from him.  She took a sip as Marshal began asking Lily what had happened.  She spit the coffee back into the cup, nausea bringing bile to her throat, and returned the cup to Ryoga.

    Ryoga gave Akane a disapproving glare and set the cup down on the table, trying not to think about what it now contained.  Akane returned his gaze as if saying, "What did you expect, it tastes rusty."

    After finally putting all her words together, Lily explained how she had lost her home.

***
    
     Lily stared at what used to be her apartment.  The sign above it was unintelligible.  Her wide eyes came down to the sign inviting people into her apartment.  The front door was replaced by a glass door.  A sign on the window that used to be a wall said, "Japanese Pizza".  Lily couldn't even imagine what would make a pizza suddenly so Japanese, or why they would need to invade her apartment to sell it.
 
    Akane was confused, but waited until Lily cleared things up.  Maybe, Lily was hungry, or lost, or even confused by what the sign said.  So Akane did her best to clear it up, "It says, okonomiyaki.  It's a food dish from Japan.  I had it a few times, it's pretty good.  Do you want to go in and try some before we go to your apartment?"
 
    Lily stifled a scream.  She took a deep breath and choked a little bit.  She finally looked over at Akane and explained, "But you see, this is my apartment.  They replaced it with this eatery."
 
    Akane was still confused, she didn't know how to respond.  Seeing Lily going into the store, she followed.  The place was quietly busy, mostly businessmen eating some breakfast.  From behind the grill they were greeted by a cheerful, and energetic Japanese welcome.
 
    Lily didn't even respond.  She looked around, seeing people eating off of her plates.  Drinking out of her cups.  Finally the last straw, on the floor, was a stain from where she had dropped nail polish.  "See right there, that red spot!"  She showed it to Akane.
 
    Suddenly the chef came from behind the counter.  Her brown hair was tied back with a white bow.  She looked at Lily as if she was an illusion then finally greeted her, "Hello, Lily.  It's good to finally see you!"
 
    Lily looked at the woman, trying to remember where she might know her from.  Nothing came to mind.  Finally deciding that she didn't know who the chef was, Lily asked her, "I don't know you.  How do you know me?"
 
    The woman apologized and bowed down briefly, "Sorry, I'm Ukyo, this is my restaurant.  I recognize you from your pictures."
 
    Finally, someone else who knew that this was supposed to be her living room.  Lily knew she was finally going to solve this mystery invasion.  She asked, "What happened to my apartment?  I kept up with my rent payments, and I know I didn't have a lease agreement per se, but Mrs. Ikouku would remember me.  She was really old, but she wouldn't of forgotten me."
 
    Lily paused.  Something was wrong.  It had been three months since she had visited her apartment.  If it was gone, then only one truth remained, no matter how horrible.  "She's dead isn't she?"
 
    Ukyo nodded, "I'm sorry sugar, but, she died, we bought up the lease from the Realtors.  Here I have some of your things you can take."
 
***
 
    The food was halfway gone by the time Ryoga finishes retelling the events leading up to Lily moving in with him back in 2005.  His son is gnawing away on a chicken leg, while his daughter is dipping some chicken strips into some honey mustard.
 
    Hogoshaku finishes swallowing before asking, "How much could things change though?  I mean, you said so yourself, you guys practically lived together anyways."
 
    Ryoga nods, understanding where his son is coming from. He continues his explanation, "You see, when she was just visiting, she didn't have any of her things there.  But with the move, she brought her perfectly working coffee maker, her paintings, her clothes, some of her furniture.  Suddenly our spartan dude dwelling, became a crowded apartment.  And I started feeling myself being crowded out.  Even by the very next day, I had found Old Sparky in the trash."
 
    Kibouka interrupts, "Then how did you finally finish your training?"
 
    Ryoga hesitates, then explains, "Well, I started visiting construction sites as part of my job.  There I'd start lifting beams, and crushing rocks barehanded for strength training.  As for the electrical training, Marshal said that I might have to come up with something less lethal to train the students anyways.  For the rest of that year I didn't make much progress with it. Things ended up being unresolved, and we settled into a quiet uncomfortableness.  Then during the holidays, Lily and Marshal went to visit his family, and after they came back, things were as if nothing had ever happened.  We figured we just needed time to adjust, but, later when we finally talked about it, we agreed we should have talked about it back then."

    The three of them clean up and start walking home, Hogoshaku taking the lead, with Kibouka walking next to her father.  The sun, setting in the late afternoon sky cast long shadows ahead of the trio.  Fences were on either side of the small street as they walk home.  Finally, Kibouka asked, "What was the next step in your path to meeting mother?"

    Ryoga smiles instinctively.  Happy that his kids were starting to take an interest in his story.  He nods a bit, thinking about where things left off.  He looks at the darkening sky and continues, "After the holidays and New Years, which were both lonely events for me, came a note in the mail.  An invitation to a wedding of one of our friends.  Ranma, Marshal and Lily knew them as well, this was before we met Akane.  They had hit it off pretty well, and finally set a date for the wedding.  You may remember how back in the 90s the world was almost invaded by aliens?  Well, he was the one who saved us all, and ended up marrying the alien princess to boot."

    Hogoshaku turns around, his mind buzzing.  "I don't remember that at all," he said, walking backwards with ease.

    Kibouka laughs, "Of course, you haven't learned modern history yet, you're too young, Little Brother."

    "Anyways," Ryoga interrupts, before they start another fight, "His name was Ataru and her name was Lum.  Now when you get a wedding invitation, and it asks you, single or guest.  It's asking you, where do you see yourself in a couple of months?  With a date?  Or hitting on a bridesmaid?  I was always hopeful, so I always checked +1.  As the wedding day approached, I was beginning to think that I wouldn't have a date to take, but then heaven smiled down on me.  Akane and her boyfriend, the MMA enthusiast, broke up, and I thought, that I would have a chance at getting her to go out with me."

***
 
    Ryoga's eyes shined like a thousand suns.  His step was bouncy and free.  He even did a pirouette as he crossed the street.  Ryoga was ecstatic.  Over and over he chanted, "She said yes, she said yes, she said yes."
 
    People in the street quickly moved out of the way.  Others from across the street wondered if there was some sort of a promotion going on.  One woman thought he was kind of cute, as she flipped the sign of her store to open.
 
    It was with little surprise to Ryoga however, as he came down from his emotional high, that he was now lost.  Quickly glancing around, he realized that he had somehow made it to the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.  Sighing, he started walking back to New York.  No point in being happy if you're not going to be back in time for it, Ryoga thought to himself.  He was just glad that Akane was going with him to the wedding.
 
    Picturing it in his head, Ryoga saw himself dancing with Akane.  Her body pressed close to his, as they leaned forward, and kissed.
 
    Quacking and a flutter of wings snapped Ryoga out of his daydream.  Ryoga set down the duck he was about to make-out with.  Ryoga straightened his shirt, looking around to get his bearings, Ryoga spotted a large alien spaceship in the middle of a field.  Recognizing it as Lum's ship he approached it, hoping to get a ride home.

    The ship was yellow and black with tiger like stripes on the outside.  Shaped like a frog, it squatted in the field, it's front ramp hanging open.  Walking up to the sealed front door, Ryoga located the greeting bell, soon the door slid back and up to let him in.  The inside of the ship, was like some sort of 1950s art deco project submitted by a drunk and sex deprived failure of an artist.

    Lum flew up to Ryoga, her body not even decently covered by her black striped bikini.  Long green hair bounced and flowed as she gracefully twisted through the air, a perverse slow motion peepshow.  She finally settled down and invited Ryoga to join her on the visiting chamber's couch.

    Ryoga held his nose, and leaned forward, hoping to stop his nose from bleeding.  Feeling the hot rush of blood finally cooling as he acclimated to Lum's sexuality, Ryoga finally joined her on the couch.  "Hey Lum, what are you doing in Washington D.C.?  I thought the wedding was up in New York."
 
    Lum laughed right in Ryoga's face before she could stop herself.  She quickly covered her mouth, but her eyes still sparkled with laughter.  Finally she replied, "Ryoga, we are in New York.  Want me to drop you off at home?"
 
    Ryoga laughed half-heatedly, and nodded.  He tried looking everywhere but at Lum.  Her body always had an effect on him, and he still wondered how she seemed to be so in love with Ataru.  Traces of the upcoming wedding could be seen through out the sitting room.  Trying to change the subject away from his sense of direction, Ryoga decided to talk about his latest bit of good news, "So I asked Akane to go to the wedding with me, I think you'll like meeting her."
 
    Lum's eyebrows came together, and a partially pained look crossed her face.  Relaxing a bit, she asked slowly, "What do you mean you invited someone?  You RSVP'd to come alone.  I can't fit anybody else, it's far too late for that."
 
    Ryoga grasped for a response, his mouth stuttering like a motorboat.   "I already invited her, I'm pretty sure I marked plus one, I always mark plus one just in case!"  Ryoga stood up and began pacing around the bolted couch.
 
    Lum flipped her hair and as nonchalantly as she could muster, said, "Well we're at your home, too bad you're going to have to tell her she can't come."
 
    A push of a button later, and Ryoga was dropped off on the roof of his apartment building.  He hadn't even known they were flying.
 
***
 
    "Luckily, all I had to do was call Ataru.  He gave permission for me to bring Akane.  I didn't even imagine it would ruin everything."
 
***
 
    Finally making it home, Ryoga greeted Marshal and Lily.  Lily smiled at Ryoga, "I've been out all day shopping with Akane.  She's going to look so good!"
 
    Ryoga smiled at Lily, "Yeah, almost didn't make it.  According to Lum, I marked myself as going alone.  Ataru okay-ed it though."
 
    Marshal nodded, "See Lily, a wedding is 50/50 between the man and the woman."
 
    Lily looked aghast, "You went behind the bride?  Ryoga you never go behind the bride!  This will end badly!"
 
    As Lily spoke her prophetic doom came to pass.  The signal was clear as night and day.  The phone rang.  Answering the phone, Lily already understood what the sound of Lum's voice meant.  She nodded, not realizing the Lum couldn't see it.  Finally she hung up, and stared at Ryoga.  "Lum and Ataru had a big fight, they're not getting married."
 
    Ryoga and Marshal stared.  Finally, getting his brain to function again, Ryoga asked, "What happened?"
 
    "They fought over Ataru allowing you to bring your date.  Pretty soon she electrocuted him, and he gave up and walked out.  She said, since you're the cause of the break-up, that you can pay her father back for the wedding."
 
    Ryoga sat down with an audible thump.  His body limp, and molding onto the surface of the recliner.  Looking at Lily, he asked, "How much?"
 
    "One trillion dollars. Essentially, all the gas on the planet,"  Lily answered with a measured tone, "You have to go talk to him Ryoga.  Take Marshal with you, you can't let this happen!"
 
    With a nod, Marshal and Ryoga left to find Ataru.
 
***

    Ataru opened the door and let Marshal and Ryoga inside.  The hotel room, was a suite near the top floor, Ataru immediately went back to packing away his clothes.  "Sorry I can't offer you guys anything, but I have to finish packing."
 
    Ryoga nodded for a bit before snapping himself into action, "You can't break up with Lum!  You know what will happen to the planet!  What her people will do!"
 
    Ataru slowed down, but then shook his head in resolution, "No.  You don't live with her!  I'm always getting shocked.  It's too much work!  It's too hard to keep her happy!  I'm going to stop this wedding, and I'm going to go out and have fun!  I miss bar hopping with you guys.  I miss being single."
 
    Ryoga sighed in frustration, he knew this argument well, Ataru never failed to use it.  Ryoga went with the usual reply, "Ataru, what you have now, is what I want.  To have someone to be with.  Someone who will be there for the rest of our lives.  Besides, do you really miss being puked on?  Do you really miss being alone?"
 
    Before Ataru could answer Marshal jumped in, "You know what Ataru, don't.  You see, a relationship is work.  It's hard work.  You have to make compromises, and you have to know when not to fight about something.  But, when you're with someone you love, it's easy.  It's easy, because you love them, and you want to do those things for them.  If you don't love Lum, then don't marry her.  All you'll be doing is hurting the both of you."
 
    "Marshal!" Ryoga despaired, thinking of the world being angry with him for costing them all of the gasoline on the planet.
 
    Ataru stood in stunned silence.  Finally he understood, he understood everything.  He nodded to Marshal, "You're right, it should be easy, but I do love her, and I'm willing to work on it to make it easy."
 
***
 
     Ryoga walks along with his two children.  They are coming up to the house, but stand just outside the door, not wanting to dispel the illusion that Ryoga's story has cast on the three.  "We took Ataru to see Lum, by the time we found her, she was at the Nekohanten, drunk, and talking to your Uncle Ranma.  Ataru apologized, and the wedding was back on.  Lum even let me bring Akane along.  A couple of days later, it was the wedding, and I went to pick Akane up at her apartment."
 
***
 
    Ryoga knocked on the olive green door.  Within moments, Akane opened the door from the other side, and smiled broadly, and radiantly at the nervous Ryoga.  Ryoga handed a bouquet of roses to Akane, and she invited him inside.  "You look amazing," Ryoga drank in her long bluish-black hair.  She was wearing a velvety red dress, that hugged her body the way he wished he could.  Every move she made invited his eyes to feast on her beauty.
 
    Akane relished the attention he was giving her.  "You don't look so bad yourself.  Well, let's get going."
 
    The two headed downstairs to the taxi that Ryoga had left waiting.  As they came up to it, a fat dorky man with curly hair, and a tee shirt with some unknown meme ran up to them.  Akane immediately recognized one of the interns from Metro News One.  He spoke in a voice that was two parts nerd, and one part geek, "Akane, Kuno couldn't make it, he caught the Bird Flu!  You have to be anchor tonight!"
 
    Akane panicked, "When do I have to be in?"
 
    "Right now, come on!" said the sweaty intern.
 
    Akane finally remembered how she was dressed, and where she was going.  She turned to Ryoga, an apology written across her face.  "I'm sorry Ryoga.  But, this is my dream, and my chance at becoming an anchor!"
 
    Ryoga understood, he knew how much Akane had been longing for this opportunity.  "It's okay, go before you're late."
 
    Akane hugged Ryoga, and then followed the intern to the Metro News One Van.  Ryoga got into the taxi, and went to Lum's wedding.
 
    Thinking back to what Marshal had said, Ryoga realized that being with Akane was just not meant to be.  It should be easy, Marshal had said.  But being with Akane was anything but easy.
 
***
 
    "I got to that wedding with the thought, that it would be the beginning of the rest of my life.  Little did I know, how close to the truth I was at the time."

***

Ranma stared, a couple tables over, at a beautiful young bridesmaid.  Her short brown silky hair complemented her mocha colored skin, her breasts were the size of juicy melons.  Next to her, was a beautiful red-head with spiky long hair, and dark inviting eyes.  Her dress was slit up one leg almost past her hip.  They were talking to a cute woman with long brown hair tied back with a bow, her dress was black and short enough to only leave a small portion of her thighs to the imagination.
 
    An annoying sound began buzzing in Ranma's ear. Becoming faintly aware that Ryoga was talking about something, Ranma let him finish before letting him in on what his plan was.  "Yeah, that's great, but look at those bridesmaids over there Ryoga.  Two eights and a seven.  Now I'm willing to bring myself down to a 15, and let you have one of the eights.  What do you say?"
 
    Ryoga wanted to be repulsed by Ranma.  He wanted to say no.  Ryoga wanted to wait for Akane.  But, he also realized that Akane and him would never happen.  Their relationship was refusing to work, as if fate was dealing him a poker-hand and all he wanted to do was play blackjack.  Ryoga looked over at the three bridesmaids.  He made his decision.  With a nod at Ranma, Ryoga got up, and they both approached the bridesmaids' table.
 
***
 
    Morning burst into Ryoga's room like some rude nosy neighbor.  The morning light disenchanted Ryoga's reality, taking away his dreams, making them fade into oblivion.  The world was just as miserable and lonely as ever.  Except.  Except that now Ryoga had a set of memories filtering through his mind.  Memories that shoved their way to the front of his thoughts.  Memories that brought a smile to his face that he hoped would never leave.
 
    The clock said it was almost ten in the morning, and Ryoga decided to take it's word for it, though, it had been a few minutes off before.  Looking back at the bed, wishing to see the girl of his dreams there, he sighed, when he found himself to be alone.  Her chocolate brown hair wafted through his mind's vision.
 
    Ryoga threw on some sweat pants and a shirt.  He took a deep breath, thought about her again, and went to get himself some coffee.  Marshal and Lily were already up, sitting on the couch like they always did after breakfast.  It was the last bit of coffee that sat warming in Lily's coffee maker.  Ryoga poured himself some.
 
    Lily and Marshal looked at each other, sharing one of their silent conversations they usually had when trying to not let anyone know what they were thinking.  So close were their thoughts, that they knew what the other was thinking, and often no words were even needed for them to share their thoughts, but merely a look.  They were gazing at each other when Ryoga joined them.  Lily looked back to Ryoga and smiled, "So where did you disappear to last night?"
 
    Ryoga remembered her again.  He remembered her smile, and smiled himself.  He looked at Marshal and Lily, a goofy silent grin on his face.  He said, "Last night was one of the best nights of my life."
 
    Marshal matched Ryoga's goofy smile, remembering the wedding the previous night, remembering the dreams that stalked even his waking mind, "Tell me about it, that cake was amazing! My stomach wouldn't shut up about it."
 
Marshal was thinking with his stomach again.  Then again, coming from a family as big and tall as Marshal's it wasn't surprising.  They were like giants among mortals. Ryoga paused, imagining Marshal hurling rocks as knights tried to reach him at the top of a hill, then Ryoga laughed healthily at Marshal, "That cake is haunting you, huh?"
 
    Marshal nodded, his eyes huge with frosty desire. Lily laughed along with Ryoga. She had been dealing with Marshal talking about the cake all night, even when they had been celebrating their first agreement in the wedding planning that morning.  She looked back at Ryoga, "Okay, enough with the cake, so what happened last night?"
 
    Ryoga stopped laughing, a little abruptly.  Chocolate colored hair floated on the edges of his vision. He thought for a moment before saying, "I met the most amazing woman last night, and I'll never see her again.  And it's better that way."
 
    Marshal and Lily were confused.  They wondered what was so great about never seeing someone amazing again?  With curiosity nibbling at them, they allowed Ryoga to proceed with his story.
 
***

    Ryoga sat across from the cute woman with a short, tight black dress, and a white bow that held her hair up.  Her eyes gleamed with laughter and an inward happiness seen in those who do what they love for a living.  She was sipping on rice wine, while Ryoga drank scotch.  She smiled at him.  "I should tell you, before we go any further, I have a rule.  I never hook up at weddings."

    Ryoga silently and inwardly lamented his luck.  She must have had many bad experiences.  Another one, who would not commit.  Better to start off on safe grounds like this, than to not start at all.  Ryoga smiled at her, curiously leaning forward a bit.  He spoke, teasingly, "I'm guessing you haven't always had this rule."

    She smiled again.  She gazed at his handsome features, and strong shoulders.  His eyes echoed into her soul.  She explained, "These big romantic moments, are not real.  People walk around with wedding goggles."

    Ryoga understood where she was coming from.  He was so pent up with frustration, with just wanting to be happy and together with someone, that he often would not notice things for what they really were.  He nodded, understanding her on a level she might never have expected him to.  He decided to let go of his past for tonight.  He needed to give up on Akane.  He needed to move on.  He said, "I know what you mean.  For example, I first saw you, when you were out on the dance floor, doing the chicken dance.  I must say, I fell in love at first sight."

    She genuinely laughed, all the way to her eyes.  She leaned forward a bit more, almost imperceptibly, like a ninja.  This time she teased him, "You should see me tap-dance.  You'd be down on bended knee."

    Ryoga laughed at himself, and muttered, "That wouldn't be too far from the truth."  He took another drink from his scotch, and smiled at her again, "That's why I'm not even flirting with you."

    She looked at him in mock shock.  Her hands were playing with the thick napkin that sat in front of her.  She was distractedly folding it into different origami shapes. She smiled as she spoke, "You mean, these aren't your moves?"

    Ryoga shook his head, no.  He thought of what he had done to get Akane's attention.  He flushed a little, feeling foolish. He finished his scotch to buy himself some time and to regain confidence. Ryoga explained, "People ten tables away, would know if I was putting the moves on you."

She looked disappointed, the way her head bobbed a little, sank a tiny bit.  Her eyes looked at him and through him.  Maybe her denial had come out too strongly.  Coming up with an idea to spend more time with her handsome new acquaintance, she said, "That's too bad.  But, I think I have a solution, if you're interested."

The damnable light of hope lit the end of the night.  Ryoga nodded, eager to keep talking with her.  Wanting to figure out who she was.  Hoping they would connect on some mystical deep level.  Or more honestly, some carnal level as well.

    "Let me just say, first, that we are not going to have sex tonight," she began.

    "Less interested," Ryoga teased, hoping his frustration didn't leak into his words. She laughed again, with the smile all the way to her eyes.  He was starting to like that smile.  

***

    Marshal and Lily were sitting quietly as he told his story.  Ryoga finished his coffee and continued, "So she made the suggestion, of us just making it a one night deal.  No contact after the party.  No names, no numbers, no email.  Nothing."

    "Oh that's lame," Marshal shook his head.

    "What's wrong with you?"  Lily sighed at Ryoga's continued ineptitude.

    "No it was great,"  Ryoga came to his own defense, "I had a great night.  And now it will never be ruined."

    Marshal tried to find the words to properly explain to Ryoga the magnitude of his mistake, "Ryoga.  Last night, I had the most amazing cake in my life.  Do you think I'm just going to let it out of my life?  No, I'm going to find out what bakery made that cake, and then I'm going to get more cake."

    Ignoring her husband’s continued obsession, Lily asked, "What happened next?"

Flashes of the previous night played back in Ryoga's head.  He closed his eyes focusing on them.  Remembering in detail her hair, and eyes.  He remembered her dress, and even the cute white bow on her head. Ryoga opened his eyes and gave them the highlights, "We came up with fake names.  She decided on Buttercup, and I chose Butch."

    "PPG, awesome," Marshal smiled and high-fived Ryoga.

    Ryoga continued, "First I took a couple of wine glasses and a bottle of champagne.  Then, as I called for Lum and Ataru to kiss, Buttercup stole the bouquet."

    Lily nodded in agreement, "Good for her, that's a horrible tradition."

    Ryoga continued, "We danced, we talked, we almost kissed."

    Marshal and Lily looked at each other, and Marshal asked, "How do you almost kiss?"

    Ryoga remembered sitting down with Buttercup.  Their faces coming closer, his heart beating in his chest, the smell of her lipstick.  His mouth parted slightly.  Her breath lightly teasing his lips.  They breathed heavily, their eyes closed.  Briefly their noses made a connection, and it was like a lightning bolt.  Ryoga could see her electrical field, his senses were on edge.  He opened his eyes and backed away, no longer trusting himself.

    Back in the present, Ryoga simply answered, "It was all part of her plan, to have it not be real.  Just the drum roll as she put it. But ...."

    Marshal knew what Ryoga was thinking.  He knew his best friend had finally understood the mistake he had made.  "So you didn't get her real name at all?"

    Ryoga shook, his head, "I guess, I'll never see her again."

    Lily couldn't believe that all of it was lost, "She sounds amazing.  Was she there with anyone else?  Maybe someone knew her?"

    Ryoga lit up. "Ranma hooked up with one of the bridesmaids at her table!  She might know who Buttercup really is!  I just have to ask Ranma to call her up."

***

    "No," Ranma shook his head, and took another drink from his beer.  The Nekohanten was mostly empty, and he sat with Marshal and Ryoga in their usual booth.

    "But Ranma, I really like this girl," Ryoga pleaded, trying to annoy Ranma into submission.

    Ranma ignored the whining in Ryoga's voice.  If only his friend could see the futility and wrongness of going after just one girl.  Ranma stood his ground, "First of all, I told that girl I was going to the Peace Corp.  I'm supposed to be flying to Guatemala right now.  Second, I never call a girl a second time."

    Ryoga couldn't believe that Ranma was trying to ruin his chance at love.  There must be some weakness he could exploit in Ranma.  Ryoga remembered something that Ranma was always trying to drag him to,  Ryoga said, "Okay, how about if you call her, I'll agree to go to Foxy Boxing with you."

    Blood pounded in Ranma's ears for a split second.  He looked at Ryoga, appraising his friends earnestness.  Ranma said, "But, you said that Foxy Boxing girls were neither foxy nor good at boxing."

    A smile weaseled it's way onto Ryoga's face.  He knew he had said the right thing.  Now to seal the deal, Ryoga said, "I'm ready to be proven wrong."

    A speed dial later, and Ranma was talking to the bridesmaid from the night before.  Ryoga sat in rapt attention, listening to Ranma's responses trying to pry some tidbit of information earlier than it would be given to him.  Ranma smiled as he spoke into the phone, "Hi, hey Rihanna ... yeah the flight got delayed til tomorrow...  I was wondering if you remember one of the girls at your table last night?...  My friend was hoping  you'd know her name... her shoes?  He's a guy how would he know what kind of shoes she was wearing?"

    A flash of chocolate colored high heels with snowflakes.  Ryoga interrupted Ranma, "Actually, I do remember her shoes.  She took them off to do a cartwheel, and so I remember them."

    His best friend was such a pussy.  Ranma just couldn't believe it.  He spoke into the phone, "Apparently they were chocolate colored pumps with snowflakes on them... Yeah they do sound cute... so her name was .... Kuonji?... Great!  I'll let him know... umm... tonight?  Well I have to be on the flight pretty early, so I won't be able to sleep over....Sure, I'll stop by tonight."

    Ranma paused, before looking to Ryoga.  He was going to have to back out of Foxy Boxing, but for a smoking hot, super-kinky bridesmaid, it would be worth it.  Ranma said, "Sorry Ryoga, I'm going to have to skip Foxy Boxing, maybe another day ok?  Her name was Kuonji, sounds like a last name."

    Ryoga thanked Ranma.  Ranma said good bye to the both of them, and left to meet up with Rihanna.  Marshal and Ryoga shared a moment of painful anticipation, before Ryoga dialed Lum's mobile phone.

    Each ring of the phone was an agonizing eternity.  Finally Lum answered, "Hey Ryoga, what's going on?"

    The moment of truth.  She must know who Kuonji was.  Lum held Ryoga's future in her hands.  Ryoga said, "Hey Lum!  Great wedding!  Listen, I was hoping to ask you a couple of questions..."

    Lum asked him what he wanted.  Ryoga breathed in.  Air traveled through his lungs, into his center.  He imagined himself as solid and strong as a rock.  Ryoga breathed out slowly.  He said, "I was calling because I met this girl last night, and I was wondering if-"

    Lum started yelling on the other-side of the phone.  Ryoga pulled the phone away from his ear and held it at arms length.  From the phone came Lum's voice, "Just a few days ago you were begging me to bring a girl my wedding, and now you're over her?"

    Ryoga, cowed, said, "I moved on?"

    There was an audible sigh from the phone followed by, "Fine, who was she?"

    Ryoga hoped that Ranma's information was correct.  He said, "I don't have her first name, her last name is Kuonji."

    Lum's voice suddenly sounded cheerful, "Oh you're in luck Ryoga!  I still have the entire guest list on the ships computer..."

    Relief and joy, echoed in Ryoga's eyes, his smile, even his hair.  Until Lum finished her sentence, "... unfortunately, she's not on it."

    Lum hung up, and Ryoga hung his head in his hands.  Marshal came over to his friends side of the booth and patted him on the back.  Ryoga looked at Marshal, and sighed, "I've just been saved from myself.  It's fate.  I'm not supposed to know who she is."

    Marshal gave Ryoga a wistful half smile, "I have an idea.  Let's get drunk."

***

    Ryoga sits in his den, his two teenage children listening to him describe the difficulties he was having.  He continues, "I thought that was it.  But fate, had something else in store for me."

***

    Akane sat next to Lily on the couch, wiping away the tears in her eyes.  Akane's eyes were red, her lips dry.  She was snotting up, and was using toilet paper as a tissue.  Lily couldn't stand it any longer, "You have to tell him."

    Akane sighed, looking everywhere in her apartment except at Lily.  Akane was trying to rationalize a million reasons to not tell Ryoga.  None of them were working.  Finally, she nodded.  "You're right Lily.  I'm going to go tell him."

***

Marshal read the text he got from Lily.  She was on her way to the bar with Akane.  He texted back to her, that finding the girl was a no go.  Marshal took another drink, waiting for Ryoga to come back from the bathroom.

Akane and Lily came into the bar.  Spotting Ryoga walking to the table, Lily shoved Akane at him.  He caught Akane in his arms.  Her hands had come up to brace herself, and now rested on his chest.  His arms thick and muscular chest drove Akane to distraction.

Ryoga asked her if she was okay.  She looked up into his eyes, feral, sad, and drunk.  She gathered her courage.  She spoke softly, "Ryoga."

His mobile was ringing.  They both tried to ignore it, but it was too loud.  Finally giving up she told him to answer it.  He just nodded, as he listened to the other end of the phone.  His eyes widened in shock.  A surprised smile came to his face.  Ryoga hung up the phone and turned to Marshal, "That was Lum.  Kuonji wasn't on the guest list because she wasn't a guest.  She was the caterer!  Come on!  I have her address!"

Marshal followed Ryoga, pausing briefly to see if Lily was coming with them.  Lily shook her head no.  They had another quick silent conversation.  Sighing they kissed each other briefly, before going to support their best friend.

Akane cried as Lily held her.

***

The taxi cab sat outside Ucchan's.  Inside, through the bay window, Ryoga and Marshal watched her work.  Ryoga stared at her.  Thinking of the previous night.  Thinking of her hair, and her laugh.  Thinking of Akane.  Ryoga thought about what Akane wanted to say to him before he left.

"Ryoga, the meter's still running," Marshal prodded his friend.

Ryoga nodded, getting out of the car.  Before the door closed he heard Marshal shout out, "Ask her where she ordered the cake from!"

From the car, Marshal saw Ryoga walk inside.  For a brief moment the chef inside did nothing.  Then she ran up to him, and they were kissing, deeply, passionately.  Knowing his friend finally found a girl that was right for him, Marshal told the cab to take him home.

***

Ryoga smiles at his kids.  From the open window he hears their three pigs snoring outside.  He finishes his story, "And so we started dating.  Aside from your Aunt Akane, Ukyo was my first big, true love, and what she taught me, stayed with me to this day."

Kibouka sighs.  She gets up and kisses her father goodnight.  Her brother Hogoshaku hugged his father goodnight, and followed his sister upstairs to their rooms.  Ryoga smiles, thinking back to the first month he was with Ukyo.

Sometimes you can go too slow, he thought to himself.  Sometimes you have to plunge in.  He hopes he can teach them that.  He hopes he can get them to understand what it means to be in love.